(King Bradley, Artist's Rendering)

Some weeks feel like years, and this last one was a doozy.  Mistakes were made (big ones) turkeys were consumed (medium ones) and new drinks were created (delicious ones.)  Our voicemail here is 206-666-6100, so send us your messages of love in this glorious holiday season.

Show Notes:

The Nation's Number One Preventable Health Risk.

Smart Bomb Radio is on time?  WTF!?

Killola "Appetite" Courtesy of the Podsafe Music Network

The Final Mac Versus PC Spoof.  Pour a 40 on the curb for them.

Part Two of My Wife, Drunk, Reading the Bible. 

The Terrifying Tale of King Bradley, and His House Full of Demon... with an Uzi.

Jonathan Coulton "Big Bad World One"

On Gas Efficiency, RE: Apocalypse Survival

Voicemail

Endgame

206-666-6100 is the Voicemail Line

I quit my job and the one upside of that means Smart Bomb Radio will be on TIME!  Actually there are many, many upsides to that.  Countless upsides.  But I've made you all wait too long, let's rock this bitch.

P.S. HI MEL AND JASON!!!! (WAVES!!!!)

Show Notes:

Podcast Sellout

I Haven't Podcaded

Matthew Ebel "This Too Shall Pass" (courtesy of the Podsafe Music Network)

Mac Versus Woman

Don't Get Kanji Tattoos Unless You Know What They Say

Barfly, Pickle Tales, and My Story "The Helpful Dead"

They Might Be Giants "Am I Awake" (courtesy of the Podsafe Music Network)

My Drunken Wife Reads From the Bible

Calls Calls Calls, Calls from the Stewart! (Sorry Jen and Corey, I ripped ya off)

Endgame

So, I made the first round cut of "Pickle Tales, Battle of the Podcast Stars" and on November 13th my story "The Helpful Dead" will air. 

In other news, I have been slandered by Laurence Simon.

He does this because he has Erectile Disfunction.  I know this because my cousin fills his prescriptions.

I thought you fine folks might be jonsin for an SBR fix, so here's a little bonus show.  We'd love to get some voicemails for our next show, so if you've got a little time, as always the number is 1-206-666-6100.

Show Notes:

Outtakes

Who would you Suckerpunch

French Films, Japanese Ghosts and Rambling

How Lazy is Will

George W. Bush is Alister Crowley's Grandchild? WTF?

Mark Foley and Wholely Inappropriate Comments

Endgame

I've been doing an interviewapaluza lately. 

If you want foul mouthed, Scientologist offending Will, check out

The Awful Show

If you want thoughtful, politically minded Will, check out

You are the Guest

But why not check out both, and revel in the duality that is Will.

206-666-6100 In this episode of Smart Bomb Radio, Will loses control of the microphone as three other cast members take the show over.  Voicemails are played and responded to, the sketches and music fly and there is general podcast anarchy. 

Show Notes:

Sesame Street Presents: The Signs of Brain Cancer

Jake from Just Not Right brings us in.

Showjacked!

Roboflow by Omaha Natives Pomeroy

Sherlock Holmes in "A Date with a Secretary"

Actresses faceplanting, the teachers pot and fat kid double dutch.

Dan from the Love Long and Prosper Podcast drunk dials us and Christian and Chris explain the three rules of drunk dialing.

"Jerry Bruckheimer's The Sneetches"

Twilight from Twilight and Thebes Show Talks Guns, and inexpensive oral sex.  The team agrees that she sounds hot.

The Rebound by Pomeroy

Diaper Butt Man Panties: Will's wife and friends brutally assault his wardrobe.

Sherlock Holmes in "The Museum Curators Shame"

Mikey from Public Nuisance Radio gives an update from PME, which somehow turns into a discussion of wills porn habits

Barely from Barely Podcasting calls in talking wet brides dress contests and hooker trading cards.  He leaves out vital information.

Pomeroy covers "The Devil Went Down to Georgia"

Sherlock Holmes in "The Fiendish Revenge of Dr. Moriarty"

Stewart calls in to talk about how we degenerative women.  What that means we do not know.  But we suspect that Grammar Girl would kick this man very hard, and we want to hear his calls again.

Endgame.

Feel free to use any of these Smart Bomb Radio comedy bits on your show.  The only rules are:

don't change them
link or mention us
don't take credit for them

You can also use them for flash or machinima, just please send us a copy so we can share what you made with our listeners.  The complete selection of these bits can be found on the podsafe music network (music.podshow.com) and eventually all will be added on this page too.  Monthly upload limits, ya know *Shrug*

Air Bud: Hostage Negotiator  Cthulhu is My CoPilot  Dr Shoe's Famous Gel Inserts  Godzilla for Office  Jerry Bruckheimer Presents: The Sneetches  Mac Versus PC 1  Mac Versus PC 2  Mac Versus PC 3  Mac Versus Woman  My Worst Flight Ever   Rodan Goes Negative  Sesame Street Brain Cancer  Sherlock Holmes on a Date  Sherlock Holmes is Clearly Gay  The Jerk Chimp  The Museum Curator's Shame

Just wanted to let you folks know that JC Hutchins, the author of 7th Son, was the reader this week on Barfly!  He did an amazing job and if you want to check out the treatment he gave my story "Losing Chloe" then

Click Here!

Mikey from PNR has a hot sounding stalker, why don't I get a hot sounding stalker.  And why can't I go to the Portable Media Expo.  Today Will is a sad Panda.

Mac VS PC

Weddings, Glitter Attacks, and Las Vegas

Lemon Demon - "What Will Happen Will Happen"

Wilford Brimley Hates your Diabetes

Machine Guns, and Loans

Lemon Demon - "Kitten is Angry"

Calls: Mikey from Public Nuisance Radio

Stalker Talk

Twilight from Twilight and Thebes

Strippers Revisited, and Baby Names

Endgame

Getting married Saturday, so no Smart Bomb Radio till next week.  To tide you over, here is the link to my new cast "Barfly: Stories of Love, Loss and Liquor"

Wish me luck!

1-206-666-6100 is our Voicemail line

Ok, so I'm a little late!  Like a month late.  Skepticality was gone way longer then me so you guys need to get off my back!  Anyhow, new show, new Co-Host, and the story of my batchelor party.

Here is the fun drinking game.  I say I won't name names at the begining of the show.  Take a shot every time I blow this.

Show Notes:

Cthulu is my Co-Pilot

Co-Hosts Don't Know They're Not on the Radio

The Dresden Dolls - "Coin Operated Boy"

Trent, the Pint Sized God of Lazer Tag

Dr. Shoes Famous Gel Inserts

Domination of Hot Asian Girls Causes Conflict

Cumalus - "Still Focused"

Drinking in Cars is not Recomended

Historical Double Entendres Presents...

The Dirtiest Strip Club in all the Land

Jeffery Vargo - "I Love Merica"

Hot Strippers, Smart Strippers, Crazy Strippers, and Cousin Andrew

Air Bud - Hostage Negotiator

Endgame


-

"Straighten up and Fly Right" and "Beyond the Sea" Courtesy of Gabardine Swing

Gun reload sound effect from "Dr. Shoes" created by Destron from the Free Sound Project at http://freesound.ius.upf.edu/

Smart Bomb Radio

Storytelling, Music and Comedy Produced by Will Ross.

Barfly: Stories of Love, Loss and Liquor

A 21-part flash fiction series written by Will Ross, with guest readers from other great podcasts.

The Traveling Avatar's Quick and Dirty Tips for a Better Second Life

A short tips and tricks podcast for the game Second Life hosted by Will Ross. 

A new episode of SBR is on the way, and no, I don't have a good excuse.  I'm just a lazy slug and all of you should line up to take a free shot.  Please not in the face, though.

I have been working on something podcasty that I don't want to announce just yet, but that isn't why I'm late.  Stupid Second Life grabbed me and pulled me into an abyss that I only recently escaped from, and I've killed both my characters in order to get my life back.

So pour a 40 on the curb for my good and bad avatar.  They are survived by no family.  Services will be held never.

Here is a little bonus show.  All of the audio in this file is uncensored, the making of the bit "The Creepy Hypnotist," with me and Christian Haunton (Christian has the beard in the photo above, there, I've been web exposed) screwing up far too much.  This is NOT work safe, so you've been forewarned.

Ok all fixed.  You don't need to redownload the show if you downloaded it, but if you use the flash player the player is ready to go on the right.  Thanks for the patience :)

So apparently I screwed up the bitrate on my newest show and now it's playing chipmunk style in flash players. 

If you are using a flash player to play this episode it's going to sound wrong.  However I've been informed that downloaded versions of this episode sound fine, so iTunes and others who download this show will hear it fine. 

However, if you like the show, but always thought it should be a little higher pitched and 15 minutes long, THIS IS THE SHOW FOR YOU!

-Will 

P.S.  If you can only listen to the show through the flash player, the file will be fixed on Sunday :(  I'm really sorry about this.  I'm a flashing 12 some times...

I'm on a cruise right now.  The air is warm, the drinks are cold, and my pasty, midwestern skin is burning like a strip of bacon on a sizzling frying pan.  Adventures will be had.  Luggage will be lost.  Women wearing next to nothing will have the next removed in my head.

But I'm still rolling out a show.  Please enjoy this show because I'm freaking exhausted after doing two shows in a week... seriously... enjoy it.

Show Notes

We open up with our ongoing bit for today's show, a piece about a very creepy hypnotist

Daryl and Kuma from The PodDog Show start off the show for us

Christian Haunton tells another one of his archeology stories, this one about certain cultural differences between midwest farmgirls and arab lifeguards

Then we play Jonathan Coulton's song "Skullcrusher Mountain"

Chris Wiig tells us why if you have a love of Kansas City style BBQ you should never, under any circumstances, go to North Carolina

After that we have a story from Sean Roberts about the group "Sled Club" we created in our youth, and the death defying slopes we tackled

Laurence Simon from the 100 Word Stories podcast gives us his contract rider for what we need to do to get him on our show

Finally Jonathan Coulton serenades us to bed with the song "Till the Money Comes"

Wedding plans, thanks and a great promo for "Come Let Me Whisper" end the show for us!

Music

Jonathan Coulton
"Skullcrusher Mountain"
"Till the Money Comes"

Gabardine Swing
"Beyond the Sea"
"Straighten Up and Fly Right"

There comes a time in every young man's life when he has to put out a podcast episode called "The Jerk Chimp."  For one man, that time is now.

I'd like to throw a shout out to Mark from the Tartan Podcast and the listeners of said podcast for their support of the show.  All you lads and lasses can crash on my couch whenever you want!

I'm really looking to get some audio comments on the show, so if you've got a little time, throw me an audio comment at 1-206-666-6100!

Show Notes

Our running bit this show, and the one the episode is named after, deals with a chimp named Ping Pong who is taught sign language at the world's peril

Random from Sturgeon's Law starts off the show for us

Our first song is "When the President Talks to God" by Omaha natives Bright Eyes

Gather round the fire for a ghost story by Come Let Me Whisper writer Russel L. Burt entitled "The Power of Will and Steam"

We welcome back Shaun Housh with the story "The Last Call"

Next, a rocking cover of Sir Mix-a-lot's "Baby Got Back" by Omaha band Grasshopper Takeover

We wrap up with some info about my vacation and a promo from a rocking podcast called "Bucket"

Music:

Gabardine Swing
"Pick Yourself Up"
"Beyond the Sea"

Bright Eyes
"When the President Talks to God"
From the Podsafe Music Network

Grasshopper Takeover
"Baby Got Back"

On another note, I want to say I had a blast at the Nebraska Podcasters Meet up at the Fuse in Millard.  So Mikey (Public Nuisance Radio), Corby (The Twisted Pickle), Neil and Lynn (Borderline) this show is dedicated to you all, who allowed me to come out in public with wolverine hair.

Voiceover Work

If your looking for some voiceover work for your Podcast/Video Game/Cartoon/whatever, I'm always up for doing some free voiceover work. 

I always provide 3 reads of any script so that you can chose the best one, and I have my own (nearly) professional equipement so I can work from home and e-mail you the sound files.  For examples of my character work, check out any of my shows. 

Here is a voiceover reel with an example of my narration

Contact me at smartbombradio@hotmail.com with the specs and scripts. 

Want to know what these pictures mean?  Your going to have to listen to our newest Podcast!  Joshua Grosvent is the musical guest!

Call our Comment Line at 206-666-6100!

Show Notes

We start with a message from our new candy sponsor Jimble Jamble!

Then Digger and Pootz from the Digger's Story Podcast start off the show for us.

We then play Joshua Grosvent's song "NYU Girls Wouldn't Talk to Me if I Was on Fire and Had a Bag of Money"

Finally, in our story this week, Nathan Perilo explains how 5 bottles of wine and an bad tire iron can cause quite a few stares when traveling in France!

We close out with a promo for King Bonk's Campfire!

Music:

Gaberdine Swing
"Fly Me To the Moon"
"Beyond the Sea"

Joshua Grosvent
"NYU Girls Wouldn't Talk to Me if I Was on Fire and Had a Bag of Money"

I've been a busy boy this month, here's some things I did for other Podcasts. 

For Laurence Simon's "100 Word Stories" podcast I wrote this story:

"The Lemonade Thief."

And I sent in a "What I'm Doing for Peace" for the Digger's Story podcast.

"Smart Bombs for Peace."

By the way, the above picture is entitled "Dogs of Glory," created by my lovely and talented fiancee Robin.  Those are really our dogs, they really do "get up the dickins" and the really are BOTH GIRLS.  Don't ask me.

-Will

Update

7/22/06

If your download is skipping around you may need to delete and redownload the episode.

I've got a confession.  I sat down to an interview recently and decided that I am stone raving crazy, or at least was when I was ten.  Two attemped murders, a self immolation and more!  Deirdre Flint is the musical artist.

Show Notes

Twilight of Twilight and Thebes starts us off in style

Deirdre Flint kicks off our school spirit with the song "Cheerleader"

Sean Roberts talks about our secret superhero society, and my attempt to murder a friend in tepid blood

Mignon Fogerty from Absolute Science rants a little for us about Arizona's strange theories about what makes a house energy efficient

Sean Roberts again, this time talking about how he lit me on fire

Deirdre Flint talks about every girls secret wish, with the song "The Boob Fairy"

This time Will is trying to kill Sean in the Story, Sean Roberts again

King Bonk from King Bonk's Campfire shares one of his great stories with us, this one about a reporter and the perils of foreign names

Comments (1-206-666-6100), Homework, and we close out with a promo for the great podiobook "7th Son: Book 1 Descent" by JC Hutchins

Music on Today's Show

Gaberdine Swing
"It Don't Mean a Thing if it Ain't Got that Swing"
"Beyond the Sea"

Golden Pasttime
"Beginning"
(from the Podsafe Music Network)

Deirdre Flint
"Cheerleader"
"The Boob Fairy"

http://movies.lionhead.com/studio/DeusExMachinima

Here are some movies I made last year on the program "The Movies."  They really represent where the show came from in terms of my style of comedy.

Welcome to the next show ever of the Smart Bomb Radio podcast!  This week we've got comedy, poetry, and satire, and that's just from Will!

Thanks to Digger from Digger's Stories for the sweet graphics for today's show!

Call us on our comment line at 206-666-6100

Show Notes

Will introduces us to the only candidate endorsed by Smart Bomb Radio

The boys at All Axis Radio start the show in style

We have the song "Geeks in Love" by Lemon Demon

"What Happens in Rochester, Stays in Rochester" Chris Wiig recounts the worst day of his cursed tour of Treasure Island

"The Suitcase" Will, with some editing help from his lovely fiancee Robin Dahlke, recites a poem that teaches a little lesson in sharing

We have another song from Lemon Demon, "I've Got Some Falling to Do"

Because of equal time laws, we are required to run a commercial against Smart Bomb Radio's endorsed candidate

"Extreme Archeology" Long time Smart Bomber Christian Haunton shares another one of his terrific archeology anicdotes

"Messages from the Bridge" Will shares his Newheart-esque audition for the Planet Retcon Radio podcast with a story about a starship captain who might be very similar to your boss

We wind it down with listener comments, contact information and a great promo for Planet Retcon Radio

We'd love to get your comments on the show, especially on our voicemail line!

Music on Today's Show:

Gabardine Swing:
"It Don't Mean a Thing if it Ain't Got that Swing" - Our Intro Music
"Beyond the Sea" - Our Outro Music

LucyTuned Lullabies
"Duermete Nino Columbian Lullaby" (used in "The Suitcase")
LucyTuned Lullabies comes to us from the Podsafe Music Network

Lemon Demon
"I've Got Some Falling to Do"
"Geeks in Love"

Tessa McDonald
"Moonlight Sonata" (used in "Going Negative")
Tessa comes to us from Garage Band.com

Welcome one and all to show #4 of Smart Bomb Radio!  We got some great music, some even greater stories and finally some comments!

Give us a call on our brand new comment line at 1-206-666-6100!

On Today's Show:

Today's show does contain some sexual references and some bad language. 

We have a really witty song from Jonathan Coulton called "Chiron Beta Prime"

Then we have a true story called "The Towel Story" from my friend Shaun Housh, about a sticky situation solved in a hotel room.

After that we have another great Jonathan Coulton song called "Code Monkey"

Next we have a true story from Nathan Perilo called "Red Light Ettiquette" that's a cautionary tale about a boy named "Robby" Amsterdam's famous red light district.

Following that we have another story from Shaun Housh called "The Slap Heard Round the World," where Shaun explains why you don't slap his friends... ever.

After that we have my rendition of one of Laurence Simon's 100 word stories called "Heavy Hangs the Ape Crown."

We end the show with your e-mails and comments, and a promo for the Schwagcast!

Music on this Show:

Gabardine Swing:
"Jumpin With Symphony Sid" - Our Intro Music
"Beyond the Sea" - Our Outro Music

After Touch:
"Sinphony" - Used in "Heavy Hangs the Ape Crown"
Aftertouch comes to us from the Podsafe Music Network

Johnathan Coulton:
"Chiron Beta Prime"
"Code Monkey"
Visit Jonathan Coulton's Website at www.jonathancoulton.com to buy his songs!

 

Moving right along, we arrive at show #3 of Smart Bomb Radio!  Remember, you can subscribe to us through iTunes!

On This Show:

First we hear a song from Omaha Rapper Cumalus as a little appetizer. Then for the main course, a story from Christian Haunton about taking a photograph that ended up on the cover of the magazine Biblical Archeology Review and caused a slew of angry letters about the young woman pictured.  Take a look at the photo above and then give it a listen!

This show features the following music:

Cumalus:
"Long Time Coming"

Gaberdine Swing:
"Jumpin with Symphony Sid" Our Intro
"Fly Me to the Moon"
"Beyond the Sea" Our Outro

Join the Smart Bomb Radio MySpace Page at www.myspace.com/smartbombradio to get notified when new shows come out! You can win a $25 Gift Certificate from Gift Certificates.com on July 8th if your on our friends list!

Click HERE for an extensive forum thread full of useful podcasting tips!

I figure I might as well help you learn as I do.  Here are some things I've learned by show #3.

TIPS #1

1. Audio Consistancy - It's really annoying to keep changing the volume of a podcast, so don't make people do it.  After I listen to the show on my speakers I burn the show to disk and then listen to it in my car.  For some reason I can hear annoying changes in audio in the car better than I can in headphones.  So field test the audio somewhere other than on your computer.
2. If your Starting a New Show - WORK AHEAD!  I cannot stress this enough.  With the exception of shows with very up to the minute comedy or news shows, most programs can be at least 90% finished in advance. Wait until you have several shows ready before you start publishing them.  I waited to get three finished because I did a weekly show, so less for a monthly and more for a daily.  Remember that because this is new it's exciting, but like any other hobby you might not want to do it every single day.  If you are a few weeks ahead on your shows, you can take the time off you need. 
   
3. Take Critisism Well - Everyone can improve.  Your friends and family can save you from putting something really terrible out in front of the whole world.  But you have to listen, and REALLY listen to what they have to say.  Be honest with yourself and decide if the critique is valid.  If it is, change it.  Remember, your goal is to be embarassed by your first couple shows down the line.  Otherwise your not improving at all!
4. Don't Be Afraid to Throw Things Away - I know, that piece took you 8 hours.  It's the only chance you'll get interview so and so.  You have a deadline.  Doesn't matter.  You know if you love a piece or not.  Your trying to make the show you've always wanted on the air.  So if your honest, you can tell if something you've done sucks.  Better to be late than bad.  Here is something that I killed because it was bad.
   

It's a week later and here comes our second show from Smart Bomb Radio!

On This Show:

Ex-professional children's theater actor Chris Wiig shares a couple stories about a cursed tour of Treasure Island where everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.  The two stories from Chris are on this show "A Man of Many Goats" and "The Three Deaths of Israel Hands."

Also a short comedy essay by Will Ross entitled "If I Won the Lottery."

This show features the following music:

Gaberdine Swing:
"Jumpin with Symphony Sid" Our Intro
"Pick Yourself Up"
"Beyond the Sea" Our Outro

Join the Smart Bomb Radio MySpace page at www.myspace.com/smartbombradio to get a notification when new shows are posted!

Introducing the debut episode of "Smart Bomb Radio," a talk and storytelling program produced by Will Ross.

On this Show:

Christian Haunton, an instructor at UNO, talks with Will about his experiences in Israel shortly after 9/11.  Part 1 of a 4 part series.

Then a short radio play titled "Smooth Under Pressure" written and performed by Will Ross about air travel gone wrong.

This episode features the following songs performed by Gabardine Swing:

"Jumpin with Symphony Sid"
"Blue Skies"
"Beyond the Sea"

This episode runs 14 minutes.

If you'd like to be on the show, read the post "How to get on the show."

How to Get on the Show

Smart Bomb Radio is designed to be an interactive experience more than just an audio blog of my stuff.  I'm more of the conductor than an actual musician in this little orchestra.  So here is the process and what I am looking for.

Comments ABOUT the show:

Myspace message (smartbombradio) or E-mail to smartbombradio@hotmail.com for text or skype our voicemail at "smartbombradio."  I will read them at the end of the show or play messages.  These may be cut down in length where appropriate (hey, it's not that long of a show, man!)

Comments, Stories, or Other Things that Might be Considered "Show Material."

If sent by text, I myself or someone more appropriate will read them on the air, plain or with other effects, music etc.  What I would really prefer, however, is to hear YOUR voice (I mean, it YOUR story.)  The easiest way to accomplish this is to Skype it to me, but you can also use the sound recorder or other software and email it (10 meg limit on hotmail, so you might have to send multiple files.) 

I would ask that if you want to do some editing, sound effects etc that you send a "Clean Copy" of just your voice just in case I need to edit it for time, or some other such reason.  Please, no music that is not public domain or your own.  If it has music odds are I can't use it due to that pesky RIAA. 

Also, if the piece is essentially an ad for something, it better be really entertaining :) but if you want to add your podcast, blog, website, pizza place, pet psychic, name and information there at the end I will give it out in the attribution after the piece (where I say who you are again IE "That was Sasquatch talking about bigfeet rasicm, his blog is www.sasquatchispersontoo.com.")

Music

While we arn't a music show exactly, we do always need bumper, intro and outtro music, and if you send me something really good I'll probably play it clean on the show at some point.  Obviously, it's got to be yours.  I'll check out any kind of music because eventually I'll use everything.  All music used will be marked on the blog posting, typically mentioned in the intro, and the band names will be coded in the ID3 tags of the MP3 file.  If you have a webiste or a showdate, I can post that too.

Rights

The only rights you give up are the rights to let me use your material on the my podcast and derrivitive works (like a cd of my podcasts, etc.)  You retain ownership.

I hope this answers any questions you might have.